Mass Illusion: Chat Room
by Lady Amiee
Summary: Little side thing for Mass Illusion. I forgot why I didn't put this up. Hope it makes y'all laugh.


NORMANDY CHATROOM

Online contacts.

James: ActionMan.

Amiee: Hotshot.

Chakwas: House.

Shepard: TheBitchInCharge.

Joker: RocketMan.

Cortez: ShipSpotter.

EDI: HAL9000.

Liara: InShadow.

Javik: Vengeance.

Garrus: SnypeSnype.

Traynor: Sonic.

Adams: GreaseMonkey

Gabby: JockLover69.

Ken: BraveHeart.

Amiee-HotShot: Hey hey, guys. What y'all doin'?

Garrus-SnypeSnype: Calibrating.

Doctor Chakwas-House: Patching up Shepard. Apparently, she decided to take a husk to the face.

Shepard-TheBitchInCharge: It was an Abomination and I killed it first ... it just ... exploded unexpectedly.

Javik-Vengeance: Those were present in my cycle too. We lifted them with our biotics, and threw them into enemy lines.

Shepard-TheBitchInCharge: And you decided not to do this today, why?

Javik-Vengeance: You ordered me to take cover.

Joker-RocketMan: Or maybe you're getting senile and forgetting these things? Also I'm just here. Flying the ship.

Cortez-ShipSpotter: You act like it's so hard.

Joker-RocketMan: Oh, I'm not acting.

Amiee-HotShot: Do you two need a room?

Ken-BraveHeart: Just ... Don't use the engine room

Gabby-JockLover69: Its accounted for already ;)

EDI-HAL9000: Actually, I believe Jeff prefers synthetic female types for his sexual release.

Javik-Vengeance: Then how will we not know he will not fall in love with a Reaper and betray us all?

Garrus-SnypeSnype: I'm going back to my calibrations...

Amiee-HotShot: I really didn't need those images. Imagine a reaper in a thong, giving Joker a lap dance.

Shepard-TheBitchInCharge: Fornax already has a ReaperCreepers line, or so I hear.

James-ActionMan: Lola, we all know you subscribe. Why you hidin' it?

Shepard-TheBitchInCharge: I only subscribed for ... science?

Liara-InShadow: Send me all your copies, there may be schematics!

Amiee-HotShot: Really, Liara? Really? That's your reasoning?

Joker-RocketMan: I guess the Shadow Broker is jaded beyond her years and needs something more extreme ...

Amiee-HotShot: I guess that's why she showed me the Fornax app.

Joker-RocketMan: Wait, there's an app? And here I was stuck bookmarking extranet pages ...

EDI-HAL9000: You seemed quite content in your ... Research methods, Jeff.

James-ActionMan: Muñeca, why are you online? You should be sleeping.

Amiee-HotShot: You were snoring. -_- Flid.

Cortez-ShipSpotter: What's a flid?

James-ActionMan: Apparently it's an idiot ... I don't know how. It's a british thing ... I think. Like bangers and mash. Or spotted dick.

James-ActionMan: Or it could just be an Amiee thing.

Joker-RocketMan: I've had that once, wouldn't recommend it. Dry and stale. Not pretty to look at either.

Cortez-ShipSpotter: That'll teach you to stick your d**k in things.

Joker-RocketMan: I meant the cake. -_-

Cortez-ShipSpotter: So did I.

Amiee-HotShot: We really gonna go on about the British thing, Idiota?

James-ActionMan: I'm a dude and can prove it.

Amiee-HotShot: What?

James-ActionMan: Idioto for males, babe.

Amiee- HotShot: Did you just ... You did... you corrected me ...

Amiee-HotShot: And don't whisper in my damn ear.

James-ActionMan: I was only showing you how to pronounce it properly.

EDI-HAL9000: Amiee, if you would like, I could download Rosetta Stone.

Garrus-SnypeSnype: Great, then she can just be sarcastic in other languages we don't understand.

Chakwas-House: Oh, do ease up on her, I find her British wit ... refreshing. It reminds me of home.

Amiee-HotShot: See! Don't mess with us Brits, we'll cream your crumpets.

Joker-RocketMan: That sounds ... amazing ...

Amiee-HotShot: Don't. You. Dare!

Joker-RocketMan: *Trollface* You can cream my crumpet anytime you like, Amiee.

James-ActionMan: Hey gringo, shut up before I crack your cranium. Shouldn't be too hard, considering how easy you are too break.

Amiee- HotShot: Action Man, have I told you I love you today?

James-ActionMan: Yes, you have ... and you told me how much you love my muscles and tattoo's.

Amiee-HotShot: Okay, don't get big headed now.

Shepard-TheBitchInCharge: No killing my pilot ...

EDI-HAL9000: I am perfectly capable of flying the Normandy, Shepard.

Garrus-SnypeSnype: Scoped and _dropped!_

Joker-RocketMan: :'(

Adams-GreaseMonkey: Shepard, I'm almost done realigning the drive shaft... It'll be in perfect alignment with the exhaust port ...

Traynor-Sonic: What's going on?

Garrus-SnypeSnype: Adams is lining up his shaft with the rear port.

Ken-BraveHeart: Such a sailor, that scunner. I'm proud to serve under him.

Ken-BraveHeart: WAIT!

Gabby-JockLover69: !

Amiee-HotShot: I ... That's a thing.

Cortez-ShipSpotter: I didn't know ... Ken, do you fancy coming down to the shuttle bay, I've got an exhaust port that needs calibrating.

Garrus-SnypeSnype: Hands off my thing!

Shepard-TheBitchInCharge: Grrr. The only human that should be gripping Garrus' thing is me.

Ken-BraveHeart: I didn't mean it like that.

Adams-GreaseMonkey: Ken, as much as I admire you as an engineer, I am afraid our relationship is strictly professional.

Ken-BraveHeart: I didn't ... :0

Javik-Vengeance: Primitives.

James-ActionMan: You remember the last time you called Amiee that?

Amiee-HotShot: IceMan, I'm warning you. :(

Javik-Vengeance: How do you do this ... trollface?

Ken-BraveHeart: Click on this link, Javik: goatse. cx.

Joker-RocketMan: I'm totally imagining him practicing in the mirror.

Liara-InShadow: I do not think a protheans facial muscles are equipped to align that way.

Javik-Vengeance: It seems you've stumbled across our preferred visual stimulation.

Garrus-SnypeSnype: I am not clicking that link.

Liara-InShadow: I wouldn't recommend it.

HAL9000: Link blocked. Virus detected.

Joker-RocketMan: Hey! I wasn't done looking at that!

James-ActionMan: Note to self-Touch nothing in the bridge.

Amiee-HotShot: James, go back to sleep babe, you're being noisy.

James-ActionMan: You're the one giggling.

Amiee-HotShot: I don't giggle.

Shepard-TheBitchInCharge: You do. Now, get some sleep, Amiee, you're on me and Liara tomorrow.

Joker-RocketMan: How can I not say anything to that? Seriously. I _nee-_ -

RocketMan was logged off by admin.

Shepard-TheBitchInCharge: I meant, you're on _with_ me and Liara! Damn omni-tool.

RocketMan Logged in.

Joker-RocketMan: Damn it, EDI!

Garrus-SnypeSnype: Riiight.

Joker-RocketMan: Right what? What did I miss?

James-ActionMan: I think this is our cue to leave.

Amiee-HotShot: Yeah, I need to sleep.

James-ActionMan: Who said you'll be sleepin'?

Amiee-HotShot: Did you really have to say that publicly?

Joker-RocketMan: Bro code, you gotta share that kinda stuff.

James-ActionMan: Dude, you know I gotchu.

Amiee-HotShot: Then go get him and let me sleep.

Joker-RocketMan: Uh ...

Shepard-TheBitchInCharge: Amiee, that was brilliant!

Gabby-JockLover69: Take pictures.

Amiee-HotShot: I'll record it from a safe distance. ;) That bro code is gonna get stretched!

James-ActionMan: Muñeca ...

Liara-InShadow: I have all feeds from the ship recording at all times.

Garrus-SnypeSnype: I always knew you were perverted, Shadow Broker.

Liara-InShadow: I ... Garrus. You know that is not what I do with the recordings.

Amiee-HotShot: And on that note, I'm off. Night y'all.

HotShot logged out.


End file.
